Forgiveness for the Forager

We have a forager who last season didn't end well with him.

He ghosted us with a balance due, sizeable enough, a write-off that had a sting at the time.

So when he came knocking to pick again this year, we had a choice to make - do we let him back or not?

When called on his behaviour, he was repentant, made no excuses, and he said he'd fix it. I passed this on to the kids to pray about and reply back.

Within five seconds, Fin said, "I prayed and God told me to bring him back." There was a quick consensus.

Show the fella grace and mercy. That easy, he's in.

In meeting with him, I/Ryan explained how this was the will of the kids, and Jesus, and we were glad to have him back.

I shared how merciful God is to us. I told him how I pray to know how to be like Boaz, who, when he walks into the fields and blesses the workers, they bless him back. A man who left the edges of his fields for the poor and used his inheritance to adopt the widow and the orphan.

Thank you Jesus for these abundant Chadds Ford hills. Thank you for old-growth trees with deep roots and for situating us on a solid rock, literally a hill of granite. You are the cornerstone of humanity, a blessed rock of salvation. Indeed, too, our rocks flow with living water from deep springs and tangible fruits. Every tree, every person, is clearly known by their fruits. (Matthew 7:16-20).

May God bless you and release in you a childlike spirit on whichever hills you inhabit, and open your eyes to the great gifts around you, both underfoot and in Jesus.

RD

BO BALLER: BIG BOY LESSONS FROM THE COURT

It happened--the game clicked, its spacing and pacing, form and fire. Maybe it was his new haircut but Boden Wiley Derfler looked Romanesque in Saturday's playoff game where he charged the floor like a matador and the Boilermakers secured a big win. He’s a beautiful creature, and it showed in his game.

He excitedly got out to me on the bench, mid-game, that he had finally grown tired of losing, and decided to do whatever it took to win.

A change of will, I could see it.

He added, “I don’t know how players don’t smile when they make a shot, I try not to but I can’t help it.” He beamed a joy only gained by first suffering defeat.

Awwweeee, the pure joy of a young athlete finding their lane. Youth sports are my jam, yo. And coaching is the BEST!!!

For me, and now my son, it is one of God’s great gifts, competitive play, and the sweet smell of victory now and again makes it all the sweeter.

We’ll ride high on this performance for a while and the level up to a new way of walking. With it will come new challenges, for sure, but the moment is forever captured in the vibration, or shall I say incessant bouncing in the halls, of our beings.

If you've ever cheered with the throngs or gladly jumped up time and again to keep the wave alive in a thundering stadium. If you've cheered for your guy from the pits of a race or stormed a field with excitement. You know the feeling.

Most remarkably to me this season, I saw Boden learn that he had to create his own space. This is often the case when many around you are beginners too, the screens don't get set, there is no timely pass, no one to lead you.

This is where leaders emerge to create their own space. By so doing, they can, in strength from a good position, both command the floor and show others how to do the same.

His teammates and classmates, Leif and James and Liam, learned this and began to see the fruits. Leif backed into the lane, James called in post-up passes followed by his smooth turnaround jumper, and Liam took it to the lane with purpose.

Soaking it in reminded me of the incredible space that Jesus made. Consider that EVERYONE who's ever taken the time to read his words agrees, it was a beautiful, awesome, glorious space.

On Earth it is in Heaven. Did you know if you want to know what a heavenly human looks like, you can just look at Jesus?

Many are groaning everywhere and shouting into the abyss, trying to drum up some army of their own, often in weakness and in echo chambers. Nobly, perhaps, they want to take on the unimaginable evil but lack power and have not fully considered the cost.

To say it another way, the Greatest tragedy of my life is knowing that so many right around me have failed to simply look at the space Jesus made, and are thereby prevented from accessing the most powerful power of all.

Many are tripped up by what they see in Christians, blinded to the nature of the holiness of God and the sheer ridiculousness that fallen people are worthy of comparison to Jesus, man, yes, but also God.

Y'all, God is two things:

1. great, and

2. visible to you.

You know it in your heart, it's all too vast, too creative, too designed. 80-90% of people I've polled around the world across all classes admit: they have had some experience with the eternal, something unexplainable, something great.

On our very best day, we don't measure up.

On our worst day, comparatively, we're not far off from our best day.

The chart of our vaporous little life, from God's perspective, is a graph that's as smooth as the face of a pool ball (though, zoom in and its jagged as heck!).

What do we do with this straight-line little life that we live?

Take up good space, from a position of power, yoked with and therefore sharing space with the one who became a gate to supernatural love, Jesus. It's so counterintuitive and upside-down from what most of us see.

Seek and find Jesus (maybe in my writing) - that's my hope.

In closing, among the many great lessons from this season, the top level learning from this Season In Court is this: Our only real choice in life is to determine the degree to which the line of our life points to God, and he's the only one who can move the arrow so in an instant we do a 180°. PTL.

Y'all ball out wherever you are!^^^

Coach Ryan

Don't usually say much about Whitney

Don't usually say much about Whitney cuz she's not on here..... but....

Now that we're coming out of the fog of having a bunch of kids, I have to say how much I admire how selfless she is....

She breastfed for TEN YEARS STRAIGHT for crying out loud!

She had one stretch in Cali where we didn't know what we were doing and we had an industrial-strength pump and was making enough milk for three kids...

I didn't understand why she was always so hungry. I'd make a meal and she'd cry, it was never enough.

She doesn't like blood but has been cut open and her organs placed on a table next to her, while she's awake, to take out our babies. Not once or twice, but four times.

And after Lukas (our second) a foolish doctor told her not to have any more, so she had to walk in faith when God told her there were going to be more.

She's sacrificed her body in ways I don't know I could. She quit coffee, alcohol, processed foods, all for these babies. A quiet spirit who who loves solitude, she finds herself in a rambunctious funny farm where there is a fog horn blasted in her face around every corner, and ankle-biters constantly yanking her arms for fun.

Whitney is not made for this day and age. She doesn't dress in a revealing way, doesn't broadcast how she gets ready for the day or what she's eating or anything like that. She doesn't even compete for conversation. If people want to know her, they will get to know her, and what a gift they will find.

This is a quality of God, who says, come to me.... seek me... and you will find me. The God who says, what is done in public gets its own reward, what is done with me in secret is rewarded in Heaven. God's not pushing his agenda on you (many Christians don't understand this). There is freedom in such an approach to life.

I often marvel that God put Whitney and I together because we're quite different, but I'm always learning from her, its like an endless feast. And frankly, I'm being won over by her mindset, less is more.

We're being more intentional about our rest, guarding our sleep, being selective about what we eat favoring quality, how we spend our time, more reading, creating, singing, time in nature, caring for others (our land, creatures, people), how we care for our bodies and each other, celebrations, learning, good two-way conversations. Understanding the leaning into the rhythms God has created in his cycles and seasons.

We've been married 13 years this May, been through a crazy Spirit-led run, and in many ways, it feels like the foundation has been set for something amazing, which has Whitney's hands, and God's hands through Whitney, all over it.

It strikes me that she's just such a rare gem. The fact that I know that, no matter what situation we face, any challenge or disagreement or pickle we get into, she's going to seek God's face, and He's going to guide her and us together. It is beyond refreshing to have a Godly woman as a wife, can't put into words.

Once when I was at Bethel Church, Redding in their prayer room, I lifted Whitney in prayer and he showed me a vision of a lone white flower in a field, this was my wife (new at the time), and I saw how as time went by, the field grew and eventually she was surrounded by white flowers. This is Whitney, and I love her, and its a great joy in my life to be with her in that field, and see that field growing.

In closing, as a wise pastor Ken Frieson has taught me, an especially poignant lesson for Valentine's Day, Whitney wouldn't be where she is without me, so cheers to me, because without me, Whitney is probably not even in the field to begin with. Can I get an amen?!?

I just told a newly single mom - don't get a job.

I just told a newly single mom - don't get a job.

She just signed a lease and has no idea how she got approved, she has no idea how it's all going to work.

But she has story after story about Christ in her dreams, in her thoughts, and she's so far downstream of acting on what she's sensed and heard in clear obedience and faith.

This is uncommon to see especially since it flies in the face of "common sense," which shouts in a panic, "get a job!"

Her situation looks so challenged, so shaky, like a house of cards, with death all around her. Her mom died, dad died, all in the past year. Her husband is dead to his addiction. She's had one hard diagnosis after another. Broken pieces everywhere to pick up. She cannot speak of it without tears.

This has forced her inward, forced her to her knees in honest prayer, no pretense, where prayers become groans, where a man knows he knows not what he needs only that he needs the saving grace of the Lord. Every day she must invite the joy of the Lord in defiance of her circumstances because it is not natural for it to exist where she is.

It's hard to do this with the throng of misguided do-gooders and their endless ideas to help, job leads, and other ideas that are ignorant of what God's whispered to her. I was part of the mob, offering to help her find work, a paycheck to meet her needs, until I heard her story.

If she spoke her plan out loud and what the Lord has told her to do, most would think she is crazy! They'd question her causing her to question her own self, they'd quickly grow impatient and withdraw their support for her irresponsibility, or worse, like Job's friends, they'd turn on her for her many sins.

Maybe she is crazy, but I read the Bible and see God in her mess. I see the Lord standing with her in her trouble. I see roots growing deeper in the drought. I know how God sustains those who love him with manna. His ways are not our ways.

A warning and a rebuke for my brothers and sisters: Scripture used for counsel apart from the voice of God through the Holy Spirit is a clanging gong, its harmful, its satanic. There is no formula for love!

You want to love people, be quick to listen to their whole sad story, ask discerning questions if you can, watch for what God is doing in their midst, which is all that matters. Take on their burden like an animal skin, then intercede for the widow, lifting her before the throne - do all this before uttering a word lest you sin with your many words.

So much puffed-up wisdom stitching together verses based on our own experience, our own limited view, with a lust for ministry that has nothing to do with God's counterintuitive ways. Apart from God, you can do nothing. Without a contrite spirit, your calloused heart feels nothing. Through a cloud, you see nothing, not even the angel before you, not the glory in the suffering allowed so that we may see God's grace on this earth.

So yah, that was my advice. I'm not finding you a job, not yet at least. Just do what the Lord has clearly led you to do, the path is clear, the one that nobody will tell you to walk - but I will! She wept at the validation of the one truth in her life.

To that I added, forget every voice other than the clear voice of God you are hearing. Keep your eyes open, your ears open, tune your senses to God's voice like never before, get those big Mickey Mouse ears and listen for every prompt and check.

This is your season to go deep with him, I said. Every human will fail you, as you have seen, but He will not, he will sustain you. He will be the light on your path. Jehovah Jirah is the one who has given you peace to walk this out, and it is all you need. Retreat to him, He is the impossibility specialist, defender of the weak, I testify this to you today. Have faith enough to believe it.

That is your job.

“I saw the sun begin to dim...

“I saw the sun begin to dim

And felt that winter wind blow cold

A man learns who is there for him

When the glitter fades and the walls won't hold

'Cause from then, rubble

What remains

Can only be what's true

If all was lost

There's more I gained

'Cause it led me back

To you”

Lyrics from the Greatest Showman soundtrack song "From Now On"

Has your plan/people/nation/world begun to fall apart???

Suffering and death are guaranteed for every person.

Rarely in history is there a "good" much less "Godly" leader

The legacy of man, in one word, is this: war

So why are we surprised at the brokenness? Why do we fight the inevitable and scream into the void? Or why are we deceived to think that he or she is good.

For me, the question is, to what end? Why is it this way? Where does the brokenness lead?

Hang out in the pit and you will find wisdom. Humility, a contrite spirit, and dare I say, the extended hand of the one who left all riches and glory to enter our mess, to weep with us and bleed for us, to take it all away.

Every evil, every disappointment, everything suffered, is well worth it if it leads to greater abiding in his presence here on earth and in the light of eternity with Christ.

Meat from Heaven

I went hunting first and foremost for the meat. Potentially 80-100lbs is very attractive for a family of six on a tight budget.

I came home empty handed but felt a strong sense of God's providence the whole time, as I have been more lately.

I was due to drop a load of firewood to a brother who is a Godly man, a leader of missionaries. He said I've been coming to mind lately and that he's praying for me. I asked him to tell me if any verses or thoughts have come to mind.

When I dropped the wood he said two things, he senses things are going to change soon, a new season, and that he should give me some meat from his surplus.

This is the Kingdom of God. One brother not knowing another is praying for a new season and praying for meat and yet encouraging him with those very words, that very thing.

Praise God for the small things, the manna, the meat, the seasons when we learn to be sustained by others, which humble us and teach us the lowely ways of God, who alone sustains us all to begin with.

Big juicy smashburgers are on the menu for tonight - thanks brother Mike!

---

UPDATE 12/17 - I got a Facebook message from a butcher who saw my post above and offering us two deer that weren’t picked up as well as 4 lbs of jalapeno sausage and 4 lbs of cheese sausage. I've literally never had this much meat in my life. Just a wild answer to prayer. PRAISE GOD!

My Last Breath

I'm hit!

Split the heart, again

How many can I take?!

F- that crafty snake, and

His unwitting accomplices

Delirium

As my world careens

A few steps, I stumble

I grasp for some footing

And collapse on the rock

Utterances

My words do no good

I'm a vapor here and gone

But your word, O Lord

Choice morsels I find

Healing

Faster than I expect

Air, nourishment, life!

Wounds heal miraculously

Death, where is your sting!

Feast

A torrent unleashed

What came for my head

Flees for the darkness

A legion is awakened

Alert

In an instance, I am

Sober on high alert

Every sense tuned

I see around corners

War

What the enemy meant

For death has met

A mighty fortress

Built for this battle

Seasons

Every day I ponder war

My days are numbered

Roots deepen to weather

Every season on Earth

Legacy

My circle has no choice

Join or die

For him or against

Every friend a soldier

Pit

No torture affects me

The pit is my friend

I don't try to escape

Because I already have

Joy

Behind my eyes

Rests a deep well

Unseen, overflowing

With abundant life

Finished

I count each breath

Each a worship song

Created for one purpose

For God knows how long

Defending Against Fiery Darts

I had a situation recently where I was with my inner circle, the people I hold most dear. I asked one of them for their perspective on what it means to be a Godly man, and their response shocked me. Technically, what they were saying had some truth to it, but it was a direct attack on me.

It felt like a kill shot, and right away I struggled to breath. My wife looked at me and knew something was wrong. I stepped outside to get some fresh air, it didn’t help. Then, instinctively, I found a quiet place and a Bible and began to read.

I stumbled upon the last paragraph in Habakkuk where the prophet says that despite everything not working he will continue to rejoice in the Lord, and find joy and strength in the Lord. It was as if the wound started to close in that instant, and I was able to go about the rest of the day without anger or bitterness or any response.

As I contemplated the situation, the next day I decided to address it with this person and use it as a teachable moment. Sometimes our closest circle, even those who walk with the Lord, can be used for these kinds of attacks. Even Jesus had to rebuke his disciples at times saying, “Get away from me Satan.” Immediately this person apologized and was even surprised that the words were spoken the way that they were.

These fiery darts will come from any and all angles, what’s important is knowing how to prevent them from inflicting unnecessary damage.

Some of you are hurting right now.

Some of you are hurting right now.

You're confused, you're wondering how we got here.

I realized a few months ago that we were in confusing times, more divided than usual when a friend of mine who has a home in Manhattan, a home in the Hamptons, a lifelong Democrat told me she couldn't tolerate the Democratic overreach into her life anymore. In New York, they are dictating what kinds of faucets you can use, washers you can buy, even the kind of landscapers you can hire. There are lots of unintended consequences, they take showers twice as long or just sneak in faucets from other states. She was also deeply troubled by her parties censorship, for example, the blackballing of the governor of New York from the convention because he made a comment about the border that wasn't toeing the party line. It's a step away from Comunism, she said, so she was voting for Trump.

Then I had a dear Christian friend, an older woman who was so disgusted by Trump, saw him as mentally sick, someone who was never loved properly. She's greatly troubled why so many people would believe his lies. She wants women to be able to have the freedom to do what they want to do. She was voting for Kamala.

Everything is not what it seems, we want to try to make simple explanations for complex issues and complex people.

None of us really have enough information to make good judgments. Few of us really have any real understanding or knowledge. Most of what is happening is way above our "pay grade."

The few times I've been in and around positions of power and wealth, I've seen the mysterious and often dark forces that swirl around grasping for power and control. It is a very nasty place to exist, and really often the only people who want to get there have ulterior motives.

As I've reflected on this season, and so many of my friends on both sides of the issues, I empathize with all of them. But I also think of those who have suffered in the past both under governments and in their personal lives. It helps me put things into perspective.

I think of Job, who after he lost his children and his business and was covered in sores, after his friends and even his wife turned on him, and he finally questioned God about why this was happening, God's response was simply to ask, where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth, where were you when I decided the leaves would be their color?

In the last couple of years, as I have faced my own battles, including false accusations, having to hire lawyers for my defense, but mostly depending on the Lord to be my shield, there is one trait above all else that I have come to hold in high regard, and it is humility.

Humility is in short supply. Most people want to posture about how much they know, how great they are, why they are worth following, how they do not make mistakes, they do not need to repent, they do not need to apologize for any reason.

To me, the mark of a powerful man is his ability to humble himself. In fact, God's promise to every nation rests on our ability to collectively humble ourselves before him, and then we have a promise that he will heal our land (2 Chronicles 7:14). Is it possible to live in America and also remain humble?

The man whose life I most revere, the man I call my friend and my savior, Jesus, is the most humble in human history. He left the glorious halls of heaven to come into our mess, and he didn't come in power or might, he came as a baby, helpless, on the run, with a death sentence, in fact. And his whole life was marked by humility. Even those that mocked him and beat him, in humility, he prayed for them, he acknowledged that they did not know what they were doing.

Maybe right now you are right about your enemies, but do you have humility enough to see that they do not know what they are doing? Do you have compassion on them for this reason?

Or are you going to continue to lash out at those who disagree with you? To chastize them for their foolish ways, as if that will improve anything. You're just feeding the beast!

The internet has made this far worse, we all have a little soapbox to get on, spitting more poison into the pool. We would rather seek the hive mind, the endless drum of worthless perspectives rooted in our own little world fraught with recency bias rather than the eternal mind of Christ.

While I enjoy writing and sharing thoughts occasionally on here, it is inferior to the conversations I have in person, and I have found that in person, preferably over a meal, things are very different.

Last weekend I was at a family reunion where at one table sat two relatives who post online and are diametrically opposed to each other. And yet, over their chicken dinner, they laughed and hugged.

It is possible for us to put aside all of our great ideas and just love each other as humans. None of us is good, not one, and the sooner we get off our high horse, connect with each other, break bread together even (and especially) with those that are different, in humility, the more we will see peace and reconciliation.

This was the way of Christ.

And where were you when God set the foundation of the Earth and decided the leaves would be their color?

UNDEFEATED!?!

When another teacher at Innovate Academy asked me to help coach our 1st ever co-ed soccer team, I didn't have high expectations.

The kids looked smaller to me (says every older person ever). I didn't spot any cold-blooded athletes. Heck, we didn't even know if we'd get enough kids to play and don't have our own field or even a goal to practice with.

Even though the turnout was so high we couldn't take every player to every game, I still thought we'd be lucky to win half the games. After all, half the kids have never played soccer before!

Through seven games we are undefeated, with one remaining test this Thursday.

The soccer season has reminded me of a few key lessons:

𝟏. 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐔𝐍! Some of our kids play in other camps and clubs, but the parents say they love our team because we let the kids play. There's no endless drilling, in fact, we only work on one small adjustment per practice and then mostly just play.

𝟐. 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡. We're fortunate to have an outstanding coach in Heather McEneaney. She's in the West Chester University Soccer Hall-of-Fame, has a United States Soccer Federation "C" coaching license, and coached four Olympic Development teams. We don't tolerate talking back to the coach, other players, or the ref, or goofing off on the bench. If a player makes a big mistake, like a poor throw-in, or lack of hustle, we pull the player.

𝟑. 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬. We encourage the more talented players to lift up the weaker ones. It's amazing to see it in action, like giving up a chance for a penalty kick to let another get the experience.

𝟒. 𝐍𝐨 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. The time with my kids and their friends, at practice, driving to games, on the pitch, competing, showing our faith in action, it is invaluable. I'm so grateful for the experience, and that I have the time to do it. The fruits of this labor may not be visible now, but I trust seeds are being planted and watered and that this is exactly where God wants me to give my time.

BACK2SCHOOL RULES!!!

BACK2SCHOOL RULES!!!

Now starting my second year at Innovate Academy and I have to say, being a teacher rocks!

My students are grades 6-8 and will launch their own business using the BossClub.com curriculum.

I'm also mentoring a handful of youth in grassroots community development, gaining momentum in important initiatives by making pitches, press releases, events, and more.

A few of my class rules:

• No hand raising, learn to read the conversation and interject appropriately.

• Take copious notes, you can always reference them on tests (no required memorization).

• Grades matter far less than learning, effort is rewarded.

• Instant, frequent feedback, in front of everyone. Grow thick skin, you'll need it in the real world.

• Employ gamification including points, a leaderboard, and prizes including recognition, cash, and a plaque.

• If you need to get up and move, do it, just don't be obnoxious.

• If you're obnoxious you're out for the day, no warnings and you make up the work on your own time.

• Making money is great, honoring God as a wise steward of what He’s given you is far better.

Rites of Passage

Rites of Passage

All year I've had a sense I need to get away with my oldest son, Boden, during his tenth year to do a hard thing with Godly men who could pour into him words of life.

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

My friend Dustin DeYoe suggested Hawk Mountain for its epic descent into the valley to cross the Rock River before a climb to the Skyline and ultimate ascent to the Pinnacle.

The Hawk Mountain motto is "whisper in the wild," to enable visitors to both avoid scaring off the visiting raptors and hear nature all around them. It was the perfect metaphor for teaching about the still small voice of the Holy Spirit.

Initially I was going to do it with just Bo and I, but decided to invite his two best friends. In the weeks before the trip I instructed the boys to pray for each other and come with some encouragement, some word from the Lord, for each other.

Not too many 10 year olds can build up their friends by commenting on their finer qualities, how God uniquely made them, but I knew if we could start them on that path they'd never forget it.

It was an epic day, a storm rolled in as we crossed the River of Rocks, we found ourselves off path through raw nature, huffed it up the side of the Mountain, had epic views, and wonderful conversation full of wisdom and lots of jokes too.

I think these challenges, ceremonies if you will, these rights of passage, are vital in the formation of a young man of God. I look forward to increasing the challenges with my boys, venturing into the wilderness together, and I'm incredibly blessed to have Godly men in my life to do it together.

Call Me Teacher

Early 2023, I heard a whisper, "You've poured into adults in Chadds Ford, now pour into children."

The voice got louder when my dear friend Gladie implored me to do the same.

Then the DeYoes called with the idea to teach at Innovate. So I approached the school founder, Mrs. Monica, offering my help, however she needed it.

That led me to teach entrepreneurship at Innovate Academy last semester.

Twenty-two youth launched real businesses that generated over $4,000 in revenue and wove in many life lessons.

I used the Christian version of the Boss Club curriculum.

Here's a video recap.

About That Olympics Opening Ceremony

I’m late to the party writing about the Olympic opening ceremony, I had to sort out my grief at what I saw so many of my Christian brothers and sisters posting.

Everyone from religious leaders and celebrities to politicians chimed in agreement it was blasphemous, meant to belittle our religion and a disgrace.

The central figure, Barbara Butch, has been threatened with death, torture, and rape in a violent torrent of online abuse. Apologies were demanded as if it would fix what was done and please God.

Jesus did not react this way when he was mocked. In fact, over all ages, as he has been similarly ridiculed, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob has shown wave after wave of compassion.

In the Book of Ephesians chapter three, the Apostle Paul revealed that the mystery of the Gospel is that it reaches not just the Jews but also the Gentiles and to the very least of the saints, which is how he describes himself.

It is by sheer grace, Paul says, that he can even preach the riches of Christ and bring light to everyone the mystery of God, who will be made known to all. He implores us to not lose heart over what we suffer for the cause.

Jesus says over and over again to bless those who persecute you, turn the other cheek, and simply go the extra mile for them. These are his basic teachings, straight from the Sermon on the Mount!

So why do we lose heart and why are we surprised, offended even, when we see the world do what the world has done since the beginning of the world? I can only resolve that many are not fulfilled in the love of Christ.

God is the Father of every family in heaven and on earth. Those with the Spirit of Jesus dwelling in their hearts are strongly rooted because they comprehend how great God the Father's love actually is. They are not easily swept up in every controversy or offense (newsflash, more are coming!).

Paul goes on to say that this love of God actually surpasses all knowledge and leads to the fullness of God. Imagine that…the very love of God surpasses all the "knowledgeable" takes we are seeing.

Gratefully, we can see in Scripture what the love of God looks like when Jesus is mocked as he was many times.

In his greatest mocking, a sham trial and execution he was first silent before the judge. Then he prayed for the crowd who wanted him dead, saying, “Lord, forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” Finally, as the chief priests and lawyers joined in, he again said nothing. Later, while hanging on the cross, the climax of his humiliation, he simply asked, “God, why have you left me?”

We would be wise to follow Jesus. Are you deeply offended? Stay silent lest you reap what Proverbs 9:7 promises in saying, “Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult.” Jesus did not respond to people who mocked him, he let his life be his response.

Jesus also prayed for everyone who did not know him, which included many “religious” people. If you are so inclined, pray not just for the performers and the evil forces that want to destroy them but especially for the religious folk who have taken the bait and are full of easy anger, desiring to bring wrath that is not theirs to bring.

If you have love for an organization you feel has fallen away from God, be it the Olympics, France as a nation, or even your company, town, family, or your own self, ask as Jesus did, “God, why have you left?” The answer to that prayer must be rooted in a love of God so great it unites his people, the Church, so that our love for each other is the very reason people believe Jesus is real (John 13:34-35).

In her now immortal photo, Barbara Butch flashes a heart symbol with her hands. Undoubtedly she yearns to give and receive love. I pray she experiences the love of God the Father because it is beyond compare. Especially now as she is being attacked by many in Jesus' name.

God is able to do far more abundantly than we ask or think, according to the power of the love at work within those who love him. Do you believe that?

Give that which is freely given.

On my birthday I got an extravagant gift from a friend. It was unexpected because this man currently has very little, and it was a great sacrifice for him. I immediately told him to take it back, but knew that he would not.

Then, last week, we had a woman who is dear to us watch our pets while we were away. We decided to pay her as much as we could because we love her and want to bless her, only to have her repeatedly refuse to take any money. It makes no sense because she could use it (and we will eventually make her take it) but we are awestruck by her desire to be generous to us. She only says that she has received so much love from our family that she can never repay us.

There is a dynamic in life, those who have an overflow give, and this is not tied to material wealth; if anything, it seems as those with great material wealth have an inverse relationship to this flow (a gross observation, there are certainly exceptions). This is the story of the widow's mite.

In contrast, a close friend confided in me that he cannot receive any empathy from someone he loves when he tried to restore a broken relationship. His vulnerability and sharing about his painful condition with this person was met with a response of something along the lines, "everyone is suffering let's move on." I explained to him that people cannot give what they do not have to give.

Made me think of how remarkable it was that Jesus would come into our mess, he knew how broken we all were, knew it was our own fault, and he walked with us, he healed us, he had compassion on us, he loved us, he poured into us. Thank God we have a high priest who sympathizes with us in our weakness (Hebrews 4).

Don't ever fall for the trap of comparing sufferings.

Don't become calloused to the needs of those around you.

I realize the world is heavy, it is hard to look around and know how to operate. In fact, without God, I don't see a way for someone to do this. Only when we are yoked with Jesus does the burden become light, does it become possible to be generous, even to one's enemies. A light in the darkness.

My friend and my petsitter--they gave not because I've done any great thing for them, but because God has worked through our family to bless them in ways we hardly understand. God has inclined us toward them, to listen to them, walk with them, care for them, pray for them, and serve them. Eagerly, willingly, without desire for personal gain.

Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28

There is no greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. John 15:13

Is God being extravagant through you? If you have the Holy Spirit, he must be, it is his very nature.

Are you seeing a flow of generosity all around you? You should, it is the lifeblood of a life worth living.

These words do not express the joy in our hearts over these occasions, and they have a snowball effect as we seek to outdo one another in showing honor!

Marriage is my #1 ministry.

This Spring, I was in Round 3 of interviews for a big job and as Whitney prayed about it she heard, "Ryan isn't going to get a job like this until the household is working better." When she told me, I immediately knew it was from God.

Before we got married we sought a lot of counsel including weeks of conversation with Phil Carnuccio and other Godly people. We asked each other hundreds of questions to consider how we fit together. But ultimately, the force that "sealed the deal" was the undeniable way in which the Holy Spirit moved between us.

I'd come to Whitney with a verse that I couldn't shake only to find she had been praying for weeks that I would discover that same truth. She would send me worship songs that would unexplainably reduce me to tears. I remember thinking that one day the reality that we were supernaturally brought together with these clear confirmations will be useful to me because I can never question if I married the right person. Truly, we were joined together by God.

On our wedding day, May 27th, 2012, 12 years ago, we became a three strand cord when God joined Whitney and I together. We knelt together with our closest friends and family at Gracie's 21st Century Cafe and Catering (where we had our first date and got engaged), and we drank the blood and ate the body of Christ as we committed our joined lives to God.

Since then, that bond has been tested many times.

Job changes including moving to one of the most expensive areas of the country (Silicon Valley) to work for a homeless ministry where I was thrown into the deep end of the pool in Church.

Having four children with some challenging recoveries (4 c-sections) largely away from family or anyone to help.

Seasons of prosperity quickly eroded by wild external forces like the pandemic, economic conditions, and even business partner meltdowns.

Neighbors who've damaged our property, mocked us and slandered us, and even barricaded our driveway forcing us to either sue for access to our own home or spend thousands to redo it.

We've also been led to bear the burdens of people around us, people's marriages have rotted with adultery, and those facing addictions and in various stages of recovery.

Many times we did not deal well with these things, we did not turn to God together. But we are so fortunate that we have this self-correcting mechanism that is the Holy Spirit at work in our lives. We know that, in the end, we will turn to God (for where else can we turn?), and we will repent, and we will emerge stronger.

Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

This past year, and even the past 30 days, have presented a sort of breakthrough in our marriage. It was catalyzed by Dustin DeYoe who came to our house recently, in the midst of a crisis, to challenge us, in particular me, to lead in a new way. Whitney agreed with his assessment. I thanked God for the answered prayer that I would have Godly men in my life strong enough in wisdom and discernment to rebuke me.

I began to make small changes, but on Mother's Day this year, another shift happened. God is using this season to prune back our marriage to the basics, God, me, Whitney. I've prayed for a long time that we would be on the same page, and we are getting a season to do that. Every though, action, system, and plan through a triple filter, with no impurity to have its effect any longer. We are purging with a dream of greater holiness.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Satan hates Godly marriages for the great love and light that they emit, for the many lives they adopt, for the way in which they multiply and train up the youth as arrows in the quiver. This is why so few exist. But above all else, we are committed to this calling on our lives. I would rather live in a hut in the woods with not an accomplishment to my name but a good, Godly, humble marriage with Whitney than have any success or accomplishments, ministry or otherwise.

My marriage is my ministry, and I believe, in faith, we are on the verge of a tremendous season ahead. And I have to give so much credit to Whitney and her inclinations along the way, and her patience with me. Somehow she is just wired for what is pure. Thoughts I have, actions I entertain, would never even enter her mind. Her natural reaction against injustice is swift, she is quick to rescue, mighty to save. This is the love of the Father in her that I saw in her right away which made me think, "she will be a wonderful mother," a thought that I had never had about a woman before. She has grown me and matured me and led me to Jesus more than any person alive and it's not even close. Mark my words, Whitney is a queen with an Esther spirit and she will be held in the highest regard in the age to come. Her worth, in God's eyes, is beyond any riches most of us can imagine. When I fast and pray for her, I always hear, "She is the apple of my eye."

In the Bible, the number 12 means to completion or perfection as well as perfect governance and divine order. In our 12th year, with a great deal of leadership from my dear wife as we seek God anew together, I am expecting big things including:

>More time together in the morning in God's word and getting on the same page about our day.

>Less time looking at screens and more time filling our minds with what is good and holy including nature.

>Taking better care of our fleshly temple, no alcohol, junk food, good sleep rythyms.

>Praying together throughout the day, and over each other at night.

>Quality over quantity in all things, seeing every moment and occasion as gift, looking more closely at the patterns of God's seasons and feasts.

>New ways of being generous and "feeding God's sheep."

>Last but not least, a joyful noise as we teach our kids to sing and praise and worship together and with other families.

I share all this because:

1. we are a work in progress,

2. that work is of utmost priority,

3. we are making wonderful strides,

4. I welcome your accountability and prayer,

5. And last, I pray it inspires your own marriage.

We yearn to see men and women deeply in love in their marriages, serving each other.

A Poem: Pruned

A little poem for y'all of the top of my head...

Lord done pruned me back to nothing but the trunk

Forced me to the throne and shined a light on all my junk

Just me and my wife, Whitney, she's still shining bright

A growing pack of kids and a few Godlys by my side

People keep asking how I'm doing, what's up, what's next

That I'm joyful despite all that's been lost has 'em vexxed

But I meant it when I prayed God take it if you want to

I'd give it all away if that's what He wanted me to do,

and he wanted me to

In my so-called loss, at first, I felt poor and down and out

Till I remembered my inheritance and in Jesus all my clout

Still got people in my path with millions on their books

Calling me for my riches cause death has got 'em shook

Meanwhile God's got me pouring into all these youth

Their moms and dads out hustling for braces for their tooth

While I'm putting smiles on their faces with that childlike spirit

Showing them the way, the truth, the light, they gonna hear it.

Watching warriors emerge, arrows in the quiver

Showing men how to give up their life like they been

dunked with Christ again in the river

I'm just working where the Lord put me, that's the strategy

no looking back on this plow, and if you know my story

he ain't been stingy, no he ain't been stingy...

haha. writing is fun.

Bless you all, and if you are tired, worn out, ready to give up, de-life yourself, got no peace, nowhere to turn, don't be shy to reach out cuz I got love for you most of the world don't know about.

Not just siblings, friends.

Not just siblings, friends.

It seems rare to see adult children that grow up and stay close. Not just close in a worldly "we stay in touch" way, but desiring to help each other grow, sacrificially, the way a family looks in the Bible.

Lately, I've watched my children playing together, sometimes outside for hours on end, from age four to ten, coming up with the cutest games and scenarios. They have their little "huts" away from civilization, worlds of their own making, together.

It brings me a ton of joy to see my children play well and love each other this way. Other people comment on how well they get along. And while they certainly have their fights, they do better every year and are a caring gang that looks after each other. They think of each other, and bring each other gifts, have their own jokes, and even do imitations.

This has been an intentional effort by Whitney and I. We have told them as long as they could listen, you're not just brothers, you're friends. We teach against the inclination to be selfish or exclude others and reinforce their unique gifts and celebrate wins. We point to Scripture where it talks about how to be with each other. We're slowly seeing the harvest of the planting and cultivation of these seeds.

Of course, the enemy will try to divide and destroy these relationships at some point, it's inevitable, but with years of prayer, years of truth in the Word, years of training them to live and grow in this way, by the grace of God, he will not succeed in this family.

Death is the answer.

Death is the answer.

A lady came to the house today to take labs for me for life insurance. She was super chatty, and I love learning about people, so we went deep and connected over death as she took my vitals and extracted my blood.

This woman, her name is Aly, shared that she's part of the church of satan. Not because she believes in the devil or anything, she just wants to have freedom of religion, she said.

I told her to believe what you want but satan is real, God is real, Jesus is alive, and while there is power in the darkness, it pales in comparison to the light of the world, Jesus Christ.

We talked about the unseen spiritual battle that rages around us, and how we have a choice to go light or go dark. That's when she blurted out that she has beef with God because he allowed her 23-year-old husband to be killed in a car accident.

That's when I shared with her that I lost my 21-year-old sister in a car accident, literally held her hand as she died, and so I have some sense of her pain. We talked about mourning, how most people don't know how to be there for those facing death, and how death wrecks so many people, how maybe if we followed the biblical pattern of mourning where we wail for a month with our community, maybe we could heal better than with pharmaceutical anti-depressants.

This was a rich, deep conversation, only possible because I enjoy talking about death. I enjoy it because I've stared it down many many times and I do not fear death. I do not fear death because my Lord, Jesus Christ, defeated death. Why is it that the day a man died on a cross is called good? Because he served as a sacrifice to pay for the constant choice we make against God in our rebellion and sin, to reconcile us to God.

This isn't some trope, some theory, some cultural way of living. The walk with Christ is to walk in power, in light, to enter into the mess of the life of a hurt, confused, searching member of the church of satan and to bless her.

Before she left I offered to pray for her in Jesus name, just to see what might happen for her. She agreed and told me she needs prayer for her health issues and her finances. I gave her a gift of a special kind of water that she loved and picked some of our garlic ramps for her. I prayed over her and hugged her before she left. She said she wants to keep my number to introduce me to her fiance.

Do not fear death, enter into it. Embrace it. Learn from it. Let it teach you to number your very short days. Death will sober you up. Death will give you a right perspective. Go hold the hand of a dying person. Go grieve with someone who is mourning, just sit there and weep. Serve someone who was wrecked by death, as so many are, and has never healed despite all the years gone by because time does not heal, God alone heals.

In closing, please pray for Aly, pray that God would speak to her loud and clear these next few days, as I did. Join me in rescuing another soul from torturous darkness and despair into a light and love so wonderful it would willingly lay down its life for its enemies. This is a kind of freedom satan, in all his greed and lust cannot fathom. Can't think of a better way to end the Easter week.

"The day of death is better than the day of birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny for everyone; the living should take this to heart. Frustration is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." Ecclesiastes 7:1-4

Gentleman Games (My Legendary Round at the Famed Olympic Club)

Originally published in JunXion magazine, as my Publisher’s Note mailed to over 9,000 of my neighbors in the Brandywine Valley, Pennsylvania.