Joining Shae Bynes on the Kingdom Driven Entrepreneur Podcast

Ryan Derfler ·

In this podcast I talk about:

->how getting fired was an answer to prayer.
->how my wife deals with our taking BIG risks in business.
->why my co-founder & I proactively discuss our weakness.
-> ...and much more!

This is the most concise way to catch up on where I am with my business endeavors, and how God has moved miraculously along the way.

Hope you listen and enjoy, if so, share a comment!

Many thanks to the immensely talented host Shae Bynes, Founder of Kingdom Driven Entrepreneur. Also a shoutout to Chris Horst & Peter Greerfor continuing to nominate others for recognition.

I don't know whom I should work with. But God does!

Ryan Derfler ·

Lately, I’ve found myself praying, “Lord, please don’t let this deal close if it’s not the right partner.” 

That’s a BIG departure from where I was a year ago when, somewhat desperate, I wanted every deal to work out. Left to my own discernment, I would currently be contractually bound to people and businesses that are just not a good fit for what I’m building or what I believe in. 

For example…

  • A business run by a guy whose office walls were covered in porn and who implied that he could get around the law. 

  • Another business leader that, by many measures, is the top in the area but with a self-professed penchant for partying hard at the expense of personal relationships. 

  • One woman, a very talented and growing entrepreneur and an excellent fit for what I’m building, had I signed a deal with her, would have damaged relationships I know I need to invest in. 

Now I find myself asking God to confirm who is the right partner. Just because someone has the finances, interest, or even if they look like a good fit in my own mind, it doesn’t mean it’s the right partner for me.

Here’s my checklist to determine how I should proceed:

  1. Is this a business I want to promote? Someone recently told me I should partner with a divorce attorney, so I started to research who was best. Then it hit me, why would I point people that direction when I could instead lead them to a marriage counselor. Given my desire to, whenever possible, see relationships healed and restored, the latter makes more sense. I now screen against what I want to stand for. 

  2. Do the leadership/staff have integrity? One doesn’t have to share my faith, but I hope to see some indication that they operate with values like excellence, customer service, attention to detail, positive messaging. I’ve opted out of working with a few partners due to observed behaviors that are troubling, at best. This is a fine line because I also want to acknowledge that I never have all the facts and people, including me, have bad days. 

  3. What are we each trying to get out of this, and can I help? I try to sense poor motives, like a company trying to make a quick profit or exploit something or someone. I also need to believe that I can help the business get where they want to go through the partnership. No amount of money is worth taking if I know I don’t at least have a shot at delivering high value.  

  4. What does God want me to do? This is most important, and because I’m a man of prayer, I pray over prospective deals. This is a HUGE ‘x-variable’ because at times I have turned away from sales that made sense in every other regard. I don’t always know why I don’t have peace about the deal, but I serve a God whose ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:8), and trust that he wants good for me (Jeremiah 29:11), so I just do it. 

This discernment, practiced on a daily basis, begins to become refined so that sometimes even in the midst of a conversation I get a sense if it’s a fit or not. Other times it will take weeks or months of prayer, listening, and wise counsel. And it doesn’t just work to screen out deals, there are occasions when it doesn’t seem to make sense that I should work with someone, but I feel peace about it and so continue to pursue it.

Ultimately, this way of vetting deals has been challenging, especially since in my current role I’m looking at up to 10 deals a week and completing 2 or 3. However, the quality is improving, and I trust that these are going to be the right partners in the long run. Not to mention, the anxiety of overthinking and overworking deals is fading away as I trust God. And, I’m even celebrating when deals don’t go through, in the world of sales, this is indeed a peace that passes all understanding! 

FOLLOWING JESUS = SAYING LESS IN BUSINESS

Ryan Derfler ·

I STILL SAY TOO MUCH IN BUSINESS.

With one verbal chip after another I work to carve a masterpiece, and sometimes see it crumble before me. My sales pitch is often full to the brim with backstory and key updates (at least to me) on traction gained.

In short, with matters of words, I go long.

Commentary as a means of influence, now full frontal from dawn to dusk in real time across a litany of platforms by (often self professed) leaders, has lured me into the never ending truth-telling conjecture.

To be relevant, the world says, I simply must add my piece. And I have.

I realized recently that all this running at the mouth was affecting my business. Fueled by anxiety over deals I wanted too much, I found myself verbally barraging prospects to make my case.  Further, I prayed fervently for each one to come through. Most didn’t.

Quiet time with God helped me see that my anxiety was fruitless, striving foolish, and that one day’s “unanswered” prayer became the next day’s thanksgiving for sparing me from my own request.  

I QUESTIONED MYSELF AND GOD:

1. If I can’t discern what deals I need, why am I praying so hard for them?

2. If I know God is going to provide, why am I acting desperate?

3. What does peace look like in my dealings and how do I say less?

The Holy antidote to my loose lips? Drum roll please... the spiritual disciplines have to be there: prayer and fasting, daily scripture reading, and regular fellowship. Also extended prayer around strategic plans, new clients, and major moves. Perhaps a retreat to learn to enjoy silence.

This feels a lot like “the same old answer” to spiritual growth, but has taken on a new importance for me in the launch of my startup. And while I know the enjoyment in hearing myself make a case will not easily take a seat, I already see that growth in my faith should cut down my word count in these very clear ways.

1. Discernment about privacy

 As God gives ground to my business I am entrusted with sensitive information. A misstep erodes hard earned trust. The old adage “loose lips sink ships” is more true every day and I have to ask God to help me “tame my tongue” to, in some cases, literally prevent death and disaster.  

2. Willingness to wait or stop a relationship

Had I crossed paths with the rich young ruler (from Mark Ch. 10) a few months ago, I would gladly have had him back my business. And yet God desires his peace to rule in our heart (Col. 3:15) where the word rule means “umpire.” God should call the shots on every person we hire or have as a client or partner! We enter endless conversations that should not be simply because we forge ahead ignorant of the still small voice telling us to wait, stop, or go another direction.

3. Guarding against exaggeration, manipulation, and lies

Recently, I got a call from a prospect while on the run and heard myself say that another respected business had come on-board even though the deal wasn’t signed. I hung up the phone surprised at my own fast lie and had to repent. No surprise the deal imploded. Now, I closely examine my calls, emails, and pitches looking for dishonesty to root out and make tweaks on a weekly basis.

4. Comfort-ability with silence in conversations

Wisdom in negotiations says that he who speaks first loses and it has been proven that using filler words in a presentation erodes credibility. But how do we find the fortitude to be such a confident, patient negotiator and presenter? I posit that if our walk with the Lord is strong we ought to excel in our ability to be still and silent.

In summary, it’s become clear—the more I talk the less effective I am and it points to a lack of faith in God about my business. Do I truly believe that if I work hard and seek the Lord I am going to have all things provided? If so, my actions and, very importantly, my words (or lack thereof) ought to show it.

Don’t take my word for it...

“EVERYONE SHOULD BE QUICK TO LISTEN, SLOW TO SPEAK…” JAMES 1:19

 “IN A MULTITUDE OF WORDS SIN IS UNAVOIDABLE, BUT HE WHO REFRAINS HIS LIPS IS WISE.” PROVERBS 10:19

Originally published on Faith Driven Entrepreneur