We Prayed for A Car, This Is Unheard Of (2 min)
In 2013 our 1st son was due in September, and our little 2-door Scion didn't feel like the best family car.
Whitney and I prayed that God would show us the right car to buy, help us with a good deal, and find something that wouldn't give us issues.
Then we visited dealerships, but didn't get a good vibe, or we'd find one we liked only to call and it was already gone.
Here's the list of cars I had been tracking on our spreadsheet (click photo to enlarge):
With the baby due date just a month away, and no car in our driveway, we started to pray more.
Finally, every car on our list was gone, except one.
On the far right of the spreadsheet is the car that felt least likely to work out since it was far away, and despite being deeply discounted past our budget due to shipping costs.
Whitney and I agreed to take a shot, so I sent over the offer and the dealership actually countered with a lower offer. I've asked a lot of people if they've ever heard of this happening when buying a used car, nobody has.
Long story short, we bought the car, had it shipped to us right within our total budget, and found the car better than advertised. Our Subaru Forester has been phenomenal and we are sad to see it go now that we have a third child on the way and need more room.
You can be assured we're praying God guides the process again!
God Gave Me A Riddle
2 Flights, 2 Unexpected Jesus Encounters
Divine Appointments in NY
This had me joyful and really laughing about the chances of these two meetings in the past 24 hours, has to be one in a couple hundred million odds of this happening.
God hooks me up for a trip
How to Easily Bless Your Family via Text Message
Profound Teaching on God's Kingdom by My 4 Year Old
God Told Me To Sing...So Here Goes...
Update, just a couple weeks later and my singing this around the house has been picked up by the kids who now sing it themselves...
Why I Need Someone to Punch Me in the Face
“Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. ”
And if you want scientific evidence that this is essential for you, watch this sermon by my pastor, Paul Anderson, where he uses the Milgram experiment to make the case.
Avoiding Racism Starts on the Playground
You are racist, it's true. So are your kids, I see them at the park!
We all pretend like we don't have this evil in us, don't have the potential to exclude, to hate, to be violent. But we do.
I see clearly that my kids and your kids, as early as 2 years old, they are on the playground delighting in the fact that they can exclude others, despite how it makes them feel.
This Christian faith that I subscribe to holds the Apostle Paul, a racist serial killer, as a hero...because he fell off his high horse, met Jesus, and became one of the greatest advocates for justice and mercy to ever live. Like Paul, we need a savior for our own hearts and the heart of our country to change.
Let's pray for mercy and ask God to forgive those who have no idea what they are doing and are blinded with hate and focused on the wrong enemy. If God can change a racist serial killers heart to spend the rest of his life loving people I think anything is possible. (thanks for lots of this post Steve Soars).
Check Out What Praying in Nature Reveals
If you follow my little blog thing here, you know I crave to get away from "it all," retreat to nature, and pray and just listen for God. It's a sweet time alone with the Creator of the Universe, the God of the Bible.
Aside of the peace and dreams and visions God reveals to me in those times away, my eyes are also opened to the vastness of creation. Here's a sampling of what has come into view--truly amazing!
A Lawnmower Interrupted My Prayer, or Did It?
I Did A 180 In While Praying In Bed
Check out this turn of events last night as I sought the Lord for wisdom and peace in the face of anxiety...
Here is the text from the Oswald Chambers devotional for July 7th:
Coming out of this devotional, my attitude is very different. I'm embracing Scriptural truth delivered precisely at the time and way that I need it.
But then, as I often do, I say to God, "This is great, I would love to hear from you from your own Word, from the Bible." So I open my Bible app, and I read this:
“You have given me greater joy than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine. In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.”
I mean, come on, I'm laying in bed wide awake with a sort of anxiety, God shows me truth directly applying to my hardships, then reminds me what He's given to me, and who is in control. At this point, I'm feeling amazing, and just 30 min. or so after feeling faced with insurmountable odds.
It doesn't end there.
I feel like there's one last thing I should check, at the end of the day, I was introduced via email to a guy that, I'm thinking now, might be worth looking into before I fall asleep.
I do a quick check, and after a couple of clicks, I find myself reading this article. If you're an entrepreneur, you need to read that article. But for me, this article addresses the precise issue that I'm wrestling with in the start-up at my firm, which is this, there is a typical team that is looked on to solve tech problems, and we don't have that team, so how do we proceed. The article, very pointedly, talks about a new kind of team--what are the chances of that?
So in under an hour, all of my anxieties are addressed, i'm reminded of who's in charge with incredible lasting wisdom to remember, and the cherry on top, i get a new framework to think about my business problem in a practical way, so practical, it reshapes my plans for the next day.
How's that for answer to prayer?!
Why I Got Baptized Again As An Adult
On this day in 2011 I was baptized again.
I say again, because like many people, I was baptized by my parents when I was little. I'm really thankful that my parents took that step to make the public statement that they were going to raise me as a Christian.
I also felt it absolutely essential that, as a thinking adult, I chose Jesus for myself.
I literally got to a point in my journey to know Jesus where I felt like I needed to get baptized as soon as I possibly could. I literally had come to see my life as a filthy rag, stained with the effects of my rebellion against God. And I needed to be washed clean, which I knew I could not do on my own but only through Jesus the Christ.
Then, one day while attending church, the pastor got up to make an announcement, he said, "some of you have reached a point where you need to get baptized, and we're going to do that on July 3rd." And he looked right at me.
That was it, I was getting baptized. And in so doing, here's what I wanted to say:
- My faith is in Jesus as my personal Savior.
- However crazy it is, I believe that Jesus died, was buried, and rose from the dead.
- I am sincerely and totally repentant of my old sinful life—this is my "burial" of that sinful life.
- And baptism pictures my rising up to a new life of spiritual obedience to God.
It is an outward acknowledgment of the realization that the old self must die in order that the new self might rise again to live—this time really live—by God’s laws and commandments as made possible through His Holy Spirit.
And, as I hope this blog gives some credence to, it is indeed a new life surrendered to the will and authority of God, albeit imperfectly most of the time. I could never have imagined then what a different life it is when you walk with Jesus.
I'm so glad I did this, it's been so important in my "walk with Jesus" and if you have not done so, I would strongly encourage you to consider making such a statement yourself.
I Wrote My Eulogy for My Birthday
After a battle with illness that lasted over ten years, during which, according to his wife Whitney, “he thanked God for the illness and how it helped him to be more present with people and to really listen,” Ryan JonPaul Derfler, left his flesh last Tuesday, July 3rd, exactly 60 years after he was baptized.
Ryan was born in 1981, the son of Monique Anne Balcavage (nee) and John Dennis Derfler, and has a brother, Daren Lee, and his sister, Danielle Jacqueline, preceded him in death. He grew up in central Pennsylvania, and often talked of his childhood in the rural small town of Montgomery. He relished his simple, country roots, love for nature, and was a self-described “late bloomer.”
Ryan is perhaps best known for his dramatic stories about how Jesus is alive and actively involved in the intimate details of life. He published over 2,500 short stories including a series of controversial books for adults and children.
He once said, “Looking back, God always had a hand on me, that much is clear. But it was when I met my wife in 2010 that it clicked that I needed to take my faith seriously, and I then began a personal relationship with the living God.”
In 2012, Ryan married the love of his life, Whitney Elizabeth Miller, who he often wrote about for her faith, wisdom as a mom and friend, and her beauty. She survives him in death.
Immediately after being married, Ryan and Whitney moved to Silicon Valley, California, where Ryan took a position working for a ministry, Cityteam International, serving the homeless and addicts. The juxtaposition of living and working among both the wealthiest and poorest in society, as well as the disciple-making training that Cityteam provided, had a deep impact on Ryan.
For over 30 years Ryan worked for Geneva Global X, a consulting firm that drove massive collaboration among social service partners, especially within faith-based groups across many denominations. The work resulted in the transformation of millions of lives in a dozen regions around the world.
Whitney and Ryan have two sons, Boden Wiley and Lukas Elliot, a daughter, Scarlet Elizabeth, three adopted children, Joseph Jordan aka JJ, Maria, and Angel; and they fostered or provided care for dozens of orphans. Their farm in the suburbs of Philadelphia, nicknamed “Still Waters,” became a respite for many people and animals.
Ryan was a lifelong artist producing mechanical sketches as a child, human figure drawings in college, and gripping scenes of what he described as “Heaven On Earth” later in life.
A passage from his last short story, published the day before his passing, reads, “my work, feeble as it may be, was designed to be, in total, a big red arrow to a supremely loving God, and a vitally helpful way to both learn to love oneself, one’s family, and one’s neighbor.”
Ryan will be buried on his farm with a celebration to follow on Saturday, July 7th. Gifts in memoriam are requested to be sent to the Ministry Defense Fund for Persecuted People, ℅ Boden & Lukas Derfler.
Here's My Schedule, As Related to Church Priorities
Sometimes I think it's helpful to know, very practically, what people do with regards to their faith.
I remember when I met Francis Chan wanting to just ask him, how much do you pray and when? Where do you go to pray. Real practical details!
So anyway, one thing I've realized about myself is that it's really helpful for me to have blocks of time scheduled in my calendar to pray, read Scripture, and be with other Christians so that God can work through all of those things.
Here's what that looks like right now:
Sunday
10:00a Get to church 30 min. early to talk to people
All-day Whitney and I literally block Sundays from work and big trips
Tuesday
6:30a I hop on a 60 min. call to pray with guys from the Philly New Canaan Society Chapter
5:30p I hop on a 45 min. call to talk life with New Canaan Society guys from across the country
Wednesday
All-day I typically fast, replacing meals with prayer
Thursday
6:30a I meet guys from my church for breakfast and to check-in on life, we also often read a book
6:00p Monthly a group of guys talks life as part of the New Canaan Society Philly Chapter
Friday
7a Once a month I grab breakfast with guys from the New Canaan Society Philly Chapter
11a Every week I hop on a 1-hour call with a dear brother to talk about our ministry in common, writing about our faith journey
Above and beyond this, there is my own unscheduled time in Scripture, in prayer, and in fellowship, which has times of intensity and times when it is less so. I like that it isn't schedule or formulaic, but I also very much appreciate the discipline and rhythm that this schedule has provided for my faith.
By no means am I saying this is the right amount, for some its not possible, for others it wouldn't be enough. I yearn for a time when I do far more, Whitney and I are eyeing volunteering to at church and admire people who are more active in ministry or leading worship and all the extra time that entails.
In closing, as I've alluded to in this recent blog post about building a deep church family, I think making these kinds of sacrifices of time are essential, not to mention Biblically sound, and I hope this is helpful and an encouragement to some of my brothers and sisters in Christ.
This is How I Fight for Real Church Community
I want genuine church family. The kind it talks about in the Book of Acts.
People that I know and who know me--strengths and my weaknesses.
People I can repent to, and who will hold me accountable and sharpen me.
People I'm going to support (and by supported by) materially and spiritually.
The kind of church family that I trust to help raise up my kids.
Since 2012 Whitney and I have searched for this, we've looked at lots of churches, big and small. And this type of community is hard to come by.
If I have to point to the top reason why, it's simple, it's not a priority for most people. Instead, we'd rather:
Be in lots of other social circles
Have ourselves or our kids in a bunch of activities
Preserve time to just be with our own family
Work a bunch so we can afford a more comfortable life
Also, for the most part, we pretty much wait to connect with them around church programmed small groups, picnics, or other functions.
The problem is, however, that most of us are pretty much booked solid, and so our only hope to connect more deeply is to either 1. quit stuff, or 2. bring our church family into the activities of our regular life. And I actually propose must of us need to do both!
Make no mistake, I'm guilty of this too.
The only "leg I have to stand on here" is that I'm fighting this fight. I've quit stuff (watching sports regularly, physical training, hobbies), and Whitney and I are also doing the following:
- We've joined a small group. I meet guys on Thursday morning for an hour to check in on life and typically we're reading through a book. Whitney does the same on Fridays.
- I show up at the Men's breakfasts and other events whenever I can. Even more, I've signed up to help out once in awhile.
- We've started reaching out to anyone who shows any sign of wanting to connect more. We give them our number and get theirs, then text them. This usually leads to us inviting folks over for dinner, and we take it from there.
- I've targeted specific people to talk to, typically men who exhibit real commitment or wisdom, and ask to have coffee with them just to learn who they are, and figure out ways we might work together.
- We pray for people we meet and to connect more deeply, and we sometimes will let people know we're praying and if we've gotten any sense from the Lord about it.
- Whitney and I have couples over for dinner every few months.
- We sign up for the opportunities to meet other new members, for example, our church has a "Dinner for 8" program to keep us meeting new people.
Is this a formula for deep spiritual community. Not at all.
In fact, it's going much more slowly that Whitney and I would like. We're a long way away from sitting down with other families to talk about our possessions and what we need to sell to support each other, like it says in Acts 2:45.
But we're not giving up, and we're trusting that God is going to provide this in the right season. And in the absence of it, as we've prayed about it, we've sensed that God is saying to us, "right now, I am enough." He's also given us a vision about one day having deeper community, and we trust His promise there.
I'm also starting to get more upfront about what I'm looking for in the church. I've been telling guys that I want to talk about the serious aspects of life, or I just start talking about them myself.
Recently, one gentleman in the church and I sat down and started thinking through how we can challenge more guys to be interested in this kind of community. It's a work in progress, but we've got a few ideas we're going to try.
When Scripture Repeats Itself Over and Over
Last night I had dinner with two guys, one visiting from out of town, my first time meeting him in person. As we got comfortable with each other, and sharing more intimate details of our faith, the stories started to come out. Wild stories about how God is doing real, practical things in our lives. I love these stories.
Stories like being ready to quit a project, only to be confronted by a homeless drunk stranger who speaks directly to that project.
Stories about vivid dreams that one can't shake for years, and which provides direction in one's work.
Stories about praying and hearing answers, and then sharing those answers only to get eery feedback that the answers are precisely accurate.
A number of these stories involve actual Scripture. And one story that I shared was about the early days of my time at Geneva Global, when a pastor friend called me to say he was praying for me, and kept getting the verse Proverbs 13:22 in his mind for me. That verse went on to launch me down a new way of thinking about my work.
Anyway, just this morning, I got an email from one of the guys at dinner, the subject line was simply "Wow!"
Turns out he woke up this morning, and the devotional that he gets delivered into his inbox each morning, well, this morning, it was about Proverbs 13:20.
Needless to say, his eyes were open, he read that devotion with perhaps extra care. As did I, because when this kind of repetition happens with a specific verse, it is often God using that to speak to us.
Someone can go calculate the chances of this happening, we can all agree that it's incredibly slim. And yet, I'm here to tell you this: when you believe in God, when you're in His Word, listening in prayer for His direction, this happens a whole lot more than you could imagine. Monthly if not weekly.
The Holy Spirit Connects the Dots Over Decades
One of the most shocking aspects of hearing from God is the consistency of the message across many people, across Scripture, and even over many years.
I often imagine that God is so good, He doesn't want to confuse us, so for me, he knows I need to see or hear something a few times before it sinks in that it's God's plan for me.
Anyway, I was reminded of this in a very striking way this past week...
A friend of mine is in some deep water. For months now his family has faced one medical emergency after another.
- His college age daughter threw her back out last week and can't walk days before going abroad.
- His wife has a debilitating illness that doctors can't understand.
- Then on Thursday, another of his daughters was hospitalized suddenly.
It's a constant wave of trials and suffering, and right at the time when his ministry is having a breakthrough.
When someone is in such intense circumstances, it's hard to know what to say. I've even given this brother advice, at his asking, that we both quickly realized was not right, it wasn't God's plan.
So, I'm very careful right now about what I say to him, I want to hear from the Lord first, so as not to distract him with something not from God. As I prayed for him this past week, I got this vision of him, and so I sent him a text about it.
Now, you have to realize, I was nervous about sending this, I mean, he's really in a tender place, his daughter is in the hospital. But it was such a distinct vision, I though, man, if this is from God, maybe it will be helpful to him.
So I sent it.
And then, shortly after, he writes me back to say that, in fact, he's gotten this same vision for over 30 years.
What the heck?!
I mean, seriously, people, this does not happen. Except by the power of the Holy Spirit.